Japanese short story

しょうがない - An acceptance that some things are outside your control.

Spring had arrived in Japan. The city of Tokyo was filled with cherry blossoms. In Japanese culture, Cherry blossoms represent the fragility and beauty of life. It is a reminder that life can be beautiful, however, it is also tragically short. Cherry blossoms portray the beauty of this fleeting world. As nothing is permanent, it is important to appreciate the beauty of everything. Everything is temporary, life is always in a process of changing. Cherry blossoms are symbol of this. They only appear once a year in spring for a certain number of weeks. This is known as Mono No Aware.

Spring was an important time of year for Kyousuke and Miho. Spring was when they met, when they parted ways and when a certain event had occurred.  Kyousuke was from Tokyo whereas Miho was from Kyoto. Miho had moved to Tokyo for a temporary period of time. During her stay in Tokyo, she had met Kyouske. Miho was an introvert whereas Kyouske was an extrovert. Yet out of all the people she had met in her lifetime, she shared the strongest connection to him. Kyousuke loved Miho dearly. And although they knew that they would eventually have to part ways, they spent as much time as they could together. They didn’t want to let this opportunity slide. Within such a short space of time they had experienced many moments consisting of happiness, sadness, suffering and peace. They had both seen certain sides to each other, sides that they didn’t even know that existed. And yet that didn’t weaken the connection they had. In fact, it was those moments that had strengthened the bond that they shared. What Kyousuke didn’t know was that Miho was carrying a secret. A secret which would send him in a state of grief when he visits Kyoto a year after Miho’s departure.


A few weeks after they had parted ways, Miho had sent Kyousuke a letter from Kyoto. Miho was missing him dearly. She felt that writing a letter to him may help ease the pain she was feeling from their separation.
Kyou Kun
When I first met you, I instantly felt a connection to you. The time we spent together in Tokyo, I will never forget. Especially the cherry blossoms. Spring is such an important time of year for me because that is when I first met you. I still remember it like it was yesterday. Parting ways from you was agonising. I did not want to return to Kyoto. I wanted to remain with you in Tokyo. But I had no choice. I had to leave. You gave me a love that I had never received, a love that I don’t believe I was worthy of receiving. You made me feel like I was alive even when I was dying inside. You accepted me, even my during worst moments. I love you Kyousuke. I always will. Thank you for everything, for accepting me, for loving me. The year that I spent with you eradicated the previous years of suffering. Do not ever change yourself. Your kind heart is what makes you who you are. And no amount of words can portray how much you mean to me. Daiji ni shitai (I treasure you).
Love, Miho
Kyousuke felt a sense of elation when he saw the letter Miho had sent him. After she had left, Kyousuke had struggled to go through each day without her presence. It was her letter that had saved him from his despair. He had to send a letter back. Maybe exchanging letters is what will help him deal with her absence.

Mi Chan
The day you came to Tokyo is the day my life changed for the better. You were like a radiating light. My glimmer of hope within my darkness. Despite our differences, the bond we shared is unforgettable. Never did I imagine meeting someone like you. When I first met you, I felt the premonition of love, Koi no Yokan. I saw a future prospect of love. And it happened. It was the best thing to ever happen. The memories of our time in Tokyo is as clear as day. We experienced ups and downs but that did not stop me from loving you any less. The day you left Kyoto, I felt a sense of emptiness. It was like a part of me was leaving. I wanted you to stay in Tokyo. Or if I could, I wanted to come with you to Kyoto. That is why I plan to come to Kyoto someday. To see you again. It is the thought of seeing you again that is keeping me going. This separation is agonising. However, I am willing to endure it for you. Until we meet again. And I want you to know that I love you because of who you are. Embrace yourself Miho. You will always be a significant part of my life. Aishiteru (I love you).

Love, Kyousuke
Kyousuke had never received another letter from Miho. He had waited every day but the more he waited, the more he felt like time was slowing down. Eventually he concluded that she may have found someone else. However, there was something telling him to go to Kyoto. Almost like a gut feeling that wouldn’t leave him alone. In his first letter to Miho, he had mentioned that he would visit Kyoto someday. Maybe now was the time. When Kyousuke entered Kyoto, the first thing he wanted to do was visit Miho. Cherry blossoms had filled the city of Kyoto, it was a beautiful place. Its beauty had reminded him of Miho. The fact that it was spring had increased Kyousuke’s motivation to find her. He asked about her in various places. Hope of finding her seemed futile until he came across an acquaintance of Miho who had given him details of her address. Kyousuke traveled to this address where he met her mother. There Kyousuke found out that Miho died a year ago. She had an illness for several years. An illness she was suffering from during her time in Tokyo. 
Kyousuke could not contain his shock. After everything they shared together, how could she hide something like this from him? One long year of yearning. One long year of pain. Only to find out that she had passed away from an illness he never knew about. Kyousuke did not know how to feel. A part of him felt anger towards Miho whilst the other part was grief stricken. Miho’s mother had directed him towards Miho’s grave. It was there, the passing of Miho had hit him. He felt a sudden ache in his heart. The flashbacks of their time in Tokyo came at him like waves. He had so many questions but no answers to them. It was the case of acceptance. Kyousuke had to accept that Miho had passed on, he had to accept that she kept her illness from him for reasons that were unknown to him and he had to accept that he would never see her again.

Miho’s perspective:
I had been suffering from an illness for a few years. I was told that I wouldn’t live past the age of 21. However, that did not stop me from living my life and achieving my goals. The reason why I had traveled to Tokyo was because it was one of the places I wanted to visit before my death. One thing I didn’t predict was meeting Kyousuke. I had tried to stay away from love. I could not tell him about my illness. I couldn’t ruin what we had. It may sound selfish, but I didn’t want Kyousuke to treat me differently just because of my illness. Being with him is what made me forget about my suffering. He was my escape from it. He was the person who had bought happiness into my life. I knew telling him would have ruined everything. That is why I chose to keep it secret. The guilt of not telling him had consumed me. I knew my time with him was only temporary. That is why I wanted to cherish every single moment I shared with him. From the walks in the park, to eating at our favorite ramen place, to watching the fireworks together. My love for Kyousuke had only evolved. And the reality of my situation had bought an end to my time with him. I had to travel back to Kyoto. From the start we both knew Tokyo was only a pit stop. Yet the day I left him, I felt like I was leaving a part of me with him in Tokyo. That was also the day I saw Kyousuke cry for the first time. And deep down inside, I knew I would never see him again. During my last moments, he was one of the people who had crossed my mind. I was glad I had protected him from knowing about my illness. He didn’t deserve to experience this. I didn’t want him to see me deteriorate. I wanted him to live his life to the fullest. My last moments were spent in Spring. The Cherry blossoms had once again been revived. Its significance had reminded me that life is short and for that reason you must appreciate the beauty of it. Kyouske was the beauty in my life. My illness was the tragic ending. Regardless, meeting Kyousuke was a blessing. It is because of him I found strength, I found myself again and more importantly, I found love. As much as I had wished to see Kyouske again, I could still feel his presence within me. That was enough to make me feel content.


Kyousuke’s perspective:
Miho’s death had thrown me into a state of grief. How could I have not noticed that she was ill? How could she not have told me? I had to accept that as much as I had loved her, I could not be with her. It was outside my control. Like the cherry blossoms in Spring, my time with Miho was beautiful yet tragically short, just as her life. Her death was out of my control. I did not hold any power over that. This grief will never leave me. Miho may be gone from this world but in my heart, she remains. However, I must resort to acceptance. That her stay in my life was only temporary. And each time spring arrives, it is not only a reminder of Miho, it is also a reminder that nothing in this world lasts. Miho’s death had taught me lessons. It had given me an insight into the transitions of life. Changes are a part of life. My life took a huge turn when Miho had entered it. And it had gone in a different direction when I was met with the news of her death. In a way, her death has made me appreciate life. Miho wasn’t given very long to live yet she had lived her life to the fullest. Miho has inspired me to cherish life for what it is. There is beauty behind everything that takes place. Some days are better than others. Some days are worse than others. However, life will always give you something precious, something unforgettable, something that you will carry with you until the cherry blossoms drop and wither.